For this week’s blog posting, I decided to write about what I am doing on a semi-daily basis at the offices of the StepUP program. Perhaps it is laziness that I have decided to write about myself, that is certainly an argument to make. But more so, I think, it is so that I may take a moment and express gratitude for the opportunity to do the work I do.
When Patrice contacted me at the end of the school year to pitch the idea my way I was expecting that my job as a student worker would be about seven hours a week and consist of me doing clerical duties to be imagined by someone who has no experience working in an office. Certainly this conjured job description comes from a mind that never would have expected to be working in such a place at all. Regardless, I was more than shocked when she called me to pitch me the idea she had for StepUP’s upcoming Gala event. She said I would have to come see her to know the details but that the job would be 20 hours a week and utilize skills that she figured I could manage given the trajectory I envision my life taking. The skills required for the position would be a certain amount of personability and charisma (because in large part the project would consist of outreach), the ability to put together a moving slideshow, and to integrate photography. I knew that on some level I was good with people but the thought of the last two made me think that perhaps she should find someone else for the position. This is not to downplay my love of photography or of multimedia constructions but simply to illustrate that my level of experience with either of them, in a competitive job market, probably wouldn’t warrant me any kind of responsibility. Nevertheless, I didn’t question the choice because I felt a confidence and excitement stir in me at the mere idea of the task.
I went into the office to talk with her. Her idea seemed simple enough, to reach out to our Alumni and gather quotable experiences, take a portrait, then compile it all into a complete piece that would run independently during the time leading up to the main events at this year’s Gala. It was a slideshow, pretty much. I began visualizing and came up with a very primitive, malleable, yet promising idea for what it could look like. She liked it. And, members of the board liked it as well. They liked it well enough to agree to stipend me while I worked on it, which excited me as well. I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t elated for the chance to learn skills related to my field of study that I hoped would ultimately help my craft, to put my name on something, and get paid while doing it. I wish I could say that my intentions were nobler than that but I can’t do that in good conscious. I thought the idea was right and true and aligned with my program of spirituality, which I was grateful for but it didn’t go further than that. To be fair to myself, I never could have expected the end result and its affects on me but it didn’t stop me from imagining my success either.
What began happening is something I never could have accounted for. I began to receive (sometimes maddeningly slowly) stories from people who have gone before me. While contacting these people I operated under the basic connection that we all shared and simply asked them questions about their experience. When I started reading these answers to, in hindsight, very basic questions, I saw a bit of myself in all of them. I could’ve guessed that this would happen, but I never could’ve guessed how it would make me feel. As the emails trickled in, I began to be reaffirmed. Now, some days were worse than others and working through that little rough patch where there wasn’t much more to do than twiddle my thumbs, gave me insights as well, but as the project unfolded I was forced to look at my own story more and more. This is where the gratitude began to emerge.
I don’t know why gratitude gets lost on me so easily but as I think about where my life has taken me today I can’t help but feel as though there is something greater at work. Seeing the through lines, the synthesis, the connection of all these stories makes me feel as though what I am doing is aligned with a greater good. I know that there is a risk of me sounding like an egoist even as I am writing but I want to assure all who have taken the time to read these ramblings that it is truly just an expression. This blog post is truly and merely an expression of unending thankfulness to whatever powers are at work that would allow a miscreant like me to work on something that has a resonance that I can’t even begin to understand. That is why I marvel at the coincidence that the theme of this project and of this year’s Gala is gratitude. It is perfect enough to be considered design, but when I thought of my last question to ask the Alumni, “What are you grateful for today” I never thought that the connections to our larger goal would be as significant as they are. I’ve come to realize that these connections also make their way into my life.
I am not done with this project. That is something I would like to be clear on, but at this stage in its workings I am noticing something special happening. It’s hard to put a finger on it. All I can say at this point is thank you. Thank you to those who have contributed thus far. I would appreciate your help in spreading the word to other alums of this project in the making.
Thank you for my chance to be apart of something truly greater than me. That is, in all aspects.
By: Mitch Ross