This has truly been a summer of growth for me. I can’t pinpoint exactly what has been different, as many things have changed. This is my first summer with a job (two jobs even), my first summer actively working with a sponsor, and the first summer I’ve made the decisions and effort to want to grow. Last summer I was sober and in recovery, I was just living out of state with my sponsor still living here in Minnesota, and I was still stuck in a deep depression. With this summer looking up for me a little bit, I decided to take advantage of my heightened energy and more optimistic outlook on life.

Here’s four things I’ve learned this summer on my quest for personal growth:

The importance of not sleeping too much (or too little).

This is a big reason I’m grateful I got hired for the student position in the StepUP office. Upon hire, I agreed to come to work every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday at 9am. In my years of college, I had been accustomed to going to bed late and waking up even later. I would oversleep almost everyday, and spend the rest of the day feeling fatigued, probably due to oversleeping. It was a very bad cycle to be caught in. Here’s a cool article that supports my thought that constantly oversleeping is not a good thing. But as I realized how much I enjoyed coming to work, waking up at 9am got easier and easier. It also made me get tired earlier, which means every night I’ve been getting about 8 hours of sleep.

The simple task of changing my sleep pattern has changed a lot for me. I no longer feel drained throughout every day, I have tons of motivation to do things I love, and it has lifted my mood drastically. The point I’d want to stress is my increased motivation to be productive and do the things I love. I am extremely grateful for this change in my perspective, which I directly associate with not oversleeping all the time. I’ve also learned, though, the importance of getting enough sleep. I have had nights where I stay up really late and go to work early, on only a few hours of sleep. Those days I spent intellectually foggy, overly irritable, and mostly out of it. Learning to get the right amount of sleep has truly been life changing for me. I know to some it may seem like a simple thing, but anyone who has struggled with depression knows how hard it can be.

 

The importance of human connection and perspectives on personal growth and happiness.

What I mean by this is, I realized the importance of meeting new people, spending time with an array of different people, and having genuine conversations. We spend so much of the day having quick, surface level conversations, with people we don’t know very well. To me, there is great value inhaving a genuine conversation. On days I have a genuine conversation, I noticeably feel more happy. Seriously getting to know someone, I believe, is one of the most important things you can do in life. Learning about their interests, thoughts, and perspectives, can give you new perspective on your own life. In your mind, all you know is your own story, experiences, and thoughts. But you can open that gate and learn from what’s going on in other people’s minds. Along with this, it has been important that I spend time with an array of people.

I get hesitant to make plans with people I don’t really know, or old friends, because I get anxious when I don’t feel 100% comfortable with a person. I’ve pushed myself this summer, though to hangout with old friends and make plans with new people; even family that I don’t spend much time with. I’ve learned a lot from every person I’ve spent time with this summer. It’s hard and scary for me at first, but in the end it is always a good experience. Every person is unique and has something different to offer. It genuinely makes me happy to learn more about people; it could be a personal thing, but I think that everyone can benefit from getting out of their shell. I also believe that my higher power has a way of working through people, and the more people I’ve interacted with, the more opportunities I’ve had to experience God.

 

What self-care looks like and how to maintain a balanced approach.

I don’t think anyone has ever told me what self care looks like; not that it has ever been anyone’s responsibility. In the past, I have looked at in a physical way: Self-care is exercising, eating well, and sleeping enough. Then when I would do those things, I would get frustrated when things wouldn’t start to get better. But just recently I read a super insightful article, thanks to Kristin, which explained clearly that self-care is more than physical aspects. It involves spiritual,emotional, physical, intellectual, and relationship needs. After reading, I wrote a list for what MY self-care looks like in each category, because everyone is different.

Overall, it involved things like praying consistently, attending regular AA meetings, spending time alone, spending time with family, exercising regularly, setting boundaries, having a regular job, helping others, etc. Writing it out helped me a lot, because when it was floating around my head it seemed like a bigger task than it actually was. Plus, sometimes I feel “too busy” to be taking care of myself, when in reality I’m really not. Also, having an addictive personality, it has been hard for me to live a life of balance. I either do too much of something (i.e. exercising), or too little. So it’s been important for me to work on my self-care in a balanced way. It’s only been a few weeks, but it’s already started to make me feel a lot better.

 

There really is so much to be grateful for.

When life starts to get hard and I start to feel down, it gets very hard for me to find things to be grateful for. I have started doing daily gratitude lists with a friend. At first, it was hard for me. As I continued daily with this, it got easier. I started to realize there was an equal amount of bad and good in every situation, and I’ve begun to be grateful for the good. Seeing my friend’s list every morning has gotten me closer to her, but also helped me realize more things that I should be grateful for. It’s important for me to recognize what I’m grateful for because when I’m grateful, I’m happy. And when I’m happy, I can help people more, and I can spread my happiness to others, which ultimately is my goal.

 

I hope that in some way, my experiences this summer have helped you, as yours have helped me. Thanks for reading!

 

I got home yesterday night from a road trip with a good friend of mine and her daughter. It was a good opportunity to step outside of my daily routine and let my mind rest for a few days. A 40 hour round trip car ride leaves a lot of time to think.

 

I thought a lot about family, friends, and life.

 

Why am I so mean to that one friend of mine?

Why did that person hurt my feelings?

Why don’t I spend more time with my dad?

Why do I care so much about the little things?

How am I going to get everything done that I need to get done?

Do the people in my life know how much they mean to me?

Do I mean just as much to them?

What can I do to help with world issues?

Why do people like the things they like?

How can I be more patient with other people?

How am I going to arrange my new apartment?

Who’s going to help me move?

How do I become more confident with being me?

Why am I so shy sometimes?

Should I get red Adidas or save my money?

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

I think I take my best friend for granted sometimes, she’s one of the nicest and most loyal people I’ve ever met.

Life is about people and experiences.

I want to learn about people and perspectives more.

I’m so much happier when I’m nice to other people.

I need to help people more often.

I love to learn new things.

I should read more.

I’m not looking forward to starting my summer class.

I am blessed with such a loving family.

I love my family so much.

I love my friends so much.

I love my mom.

My grandma is the most beautiful person I have ever met.

My cabin is my favorite place on earth.

Coffee is the best invention on the planet.

Life is so beautiful.

Music makes life beautiful.

Art makes life beautiful.

I’m so happy I’m sober.

Seriously, I’m so grateful I got sober.

Thank you for the life I have.

 

-Connie K.

We all live busy lives, which can make it hard to set aside time to do something nice for someone else.

I believe the little things you do for someone can be just as helpful and uplifting as the big things. I also believe it is very important to take time out of your day for other people. When someone does something genuinely nice and unexpected for me, it always makes me stop and have an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. It’s always a good reminder to know that you are loved and cared for by other people.

Here’s a short list of little things you can do for someone to make their day better:

• Bring coffee to your best friend. I don’t think anything would make me feel better than if I woke up to my best friend knocking on my door with a fresh Vanilla Iced Nirvana from Dunn Brothers. That’s why you should do it for your best friend, because they would probably feel the same way. A fresh cup of coffee and showing your best friend that you care can be a perfect way to start your morning.

 

 

 

• Write a thank you note to someone who has had an impact on your life. This is a great way to show someone that you are genuinely grateful for what they’ve done for you. Handwritten notes are more impactful because it shows that you took time to do write out your thoughts about the person; while a text is quick, easy, and can be interpreted as less genuine in my opinion. Often times we take for granted people that have helped us, and their helpful spirit goes unnoticed or unappreciated. Writing a note can remind someone they are appreciated and lift their spirit, as well as yours.

 

• Surprise someone with flowers. Whether it’s your parents, grandparents, aunt, or just a friend; it will make their day to see someone they love surprise them with flowers. You don’t even have to spend money. You can pick flowers yourself and find a small vase. I don’t think it’s ever the flowers that really matter, it’s the thought that went into them. Since you’re in college now, you probably don’t see your family as much and they would probably be very happy to see you stop by.

 

 

 

• Let someone merge in traffic. I often get mad while driving, but it’s generally very exaggerated because I’m alone in a car and I can yell if I want to and no one will know. Regardless, it doesn’t really make anyone happy when no one will let them merge, or when someone cuts them off. Instead of making someone happy directly, this is more of a way you can prevent a stranger from having negative feelings; which is an act of kindness in itself. Although it will most likely go unnoticed and possibly unappreciated, you can have a piece of mind inside that you intentionally helped someone out today.

 

• Send a postcard to an out-of-town loved one. I personally have a lot of family that lives out of town, that I don’t get to see very often, but love more than anything. It’s hard to keep in contact with people who live really far away, but sending a postcard can be a quick and easy way to send them positive vibes. Also, the mail is generally filled with bills and advertisements, so imagine the excitement they would get when they see a note from a loved one in the midst of all the other things.

 

• Invite someone that’s going through a hard time to go on an adventure with you.The most important time to let someone know you care is when they are going through a hard time. If they need support and help getting out of their own head, invite them to do something fun with you; a bike ride, a walk around the lake, or some hiking. Spending time with someone is a great way to let them know you care. Also, that would be a very good opportunity to ask them how they’re doing and see if you can do anything to help.

 

 

• Smile to everyone that walks by. I know it might be awkward and hard at first, but I feel like it’s a very special experience when a stranger walks by you and doesn’t act like they don’t see you or that you don’t exist. It is very uplifting when a stranger walks by and acknowledges your presence and existence, and chooses to smile and say hi. Some might not appreciate it, but I tend to appreciate it a lot; especially because it’s hard for me to do. It is such a small thing, but can be so impactful because it takes 3 seconds to do but it shines a small amount of love that you can take and pass on to someone else as well.

 

• Reach out to an old friend. It is easy to get caught up in your new life, with your new friends, and forget about memories you’ve shared with other people. Reaching out to an old friend to meet up or just see how they’re doing is a great way to show them you still care. I always light up when I get a text from an old friend. It reminds me of where I’ve been and it’s a reminder of the huge support network I have.

 

 

• Make something for your parents. Paint something! Or if you aren’t artistically inclined, bake them something. Parents love homemade things and chances are, they haven’t got anything homemade from you in a long time (if you’re in college). Your mom or dad might not have a reason to bake anymore since you’ve gone off to college, and who doesn’t like baked goods. Your parents would most likely really appreciate a piece of original art from their child, as well. They would hang it with pride and think of you when they saw it.

 

• Compliment a stranger, instead of just thinking it. Stranger compliments, to me, are the most genuine, because strangers really don’t have much to gain from saying something nice to you. One time a little girl, around 5 years old, came up to me and told me I was pretty then walked away. It was completely unprompted by anyone she knew, and it made me so happy; not that she said I was pretty but that such a little kid intuitively knew the importance of doing little things to make people smile. A compliment can go along way, too, because we don’t really give them out too often.

 

I would like to end this post with part of a quote that a fellow student of mine read during writing class one day, that has impacted me and the way that I think. “And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same,” a quote from Coach Carter. When we show other people love, we show other people that it’s okay to do, and we start a cycle of good deeds.

Thanks for reading.

 

–Connie K.

As many of you may know, alcoholism and mental illness can often go hand in hand.

I’ve struggled with depression since I was 15. My first year of college was scary, looking back on it scares me more because at the time I didn’t even realize how bad I was doing.

The fall of 2014 I started school at the University of Wisconsin-Superior. I felt very alone, as I knew no one in the area and only had made a few friends. I spent a lot of the year in my room, sleeping all day and skipping many of my classes. Suicidal thoughts were a daily occurrence, and I never talked to anyone about how I was feeling.  

I went into the year sober, but struggled to remain that way as every friend I made was an avid drinker or pot smoker. The night of October 27th I relapsed with a friend but was immediately pushed by my friends and parents to start going to AA. Fortunately, I did. I found an amazing sponsor and started working the steps, and have been sober ever since. Unfortunately, being sober and working a program doesn’t make my depression disappear.

Every day was a struggle to get up and do something. No one understood why I wouldn’t just focus on school and stop sleeping so much. I didn’t understand it either. I was constantly on the verge of tears and suicidal thoughts were literally constantly running through my head. It was so scary because I know I didn’t want to die, but the sadness was so overwhelmingly consuming I felt like there was nothing else I could do. It just kept getting worse.

My sponsor was definitely God sent. If I ever did open up to someone, it was her. She forced me to go to meetings, fellowship, and she could always tell when I was doing worse than normal; she would make me spend the night with her those nights.

Things completely spiraled out of control on March 3rd, 2015, when I woke up to a phone call from my mom telling me that my older brother’s best friend, Alex, committed suicide the night before. He was only 21. He was very close to my family, and my whole family was completely devastated. It was so hard to go through, and it was so hard to watch my whole family go through. It made everything I was going through on my own, so much harder. I was stuck in Superior, alone with my thoughts. It was a scary place to be.

Fortunately, I was pushed by a friend to apply to the StepUP Program, and after some work I got the call that I was admitted. I remember that day being one of the best days I’d had in awhile. I immediately thanked God and Alex, as I felt strongly that they both had an influence on my admission.

I felt like I would be safer being closer to family and in an environment that was supportive of my sobriety. In Superior, none of the students were sober, all of my friends drank, and on the weekends, the residence halls were filled with people partying.

Joining StepUP has been one of my most life changing decisions. I didn’t expect any of the amazing things that have happened. It started off a little rocky, but I am a different person. The first day of orientation, I was literally shaking from anxiety. Today, I am beginning to see a light.

I have made the most amazing friends, I have started making healthy decisions, and I actually go to class and get decent grades. These steps may seem insignificant, but when you are in the grips of depression, these things are not easy.

I still have depression, I still have bad days, but it doesn’t consume my life anymore; and I am so grateful for that. I don’t know who to thank for this new-found hope: StepUP, God, or myself. I truly never thought that I would go through a day without wanting to end my life, but today, days pass where it doesn’t cross my mind. It makes me emotional, because I was so broken and I know I’m getting better and it’s a really good feeling.

I wake up knowing I have a whole community of support behind me, and that has been so important to me on this journey. I now know that things really can get better, which is something I never believed before. Thank you to my new friends and supporters who have helped me get to this point, I really don’t know where I would be today if it wasn’t for you all.

You know when you plan your day full of fun outside activities and you get so excited, then you wake up the next morning and it’s raining?

 

This may be one of the many challenges you face this summer, as I feel like I’m constantly faced with this issue. My goal is to give you some ideas for activities to do when your outdoor plans are discontinued due to summer rain. Here it goes.

1. Go to (free) yoga.

Clear your mind and get exercise. You can pay for yoga if you want, but I’ve found some places that offer free yoga, because I’m a broke college student and I’m assuming you could be as well. Powderhorn Park Neighborhood Association (821 E 35th Street, Minneapolis, MN 55407) offers a bunch of free yoga classes, almost every day of the week. Check out their website for more information. 

2. Check out an art museum. 

Art can be a good way to keep your mind active during a dreary and rainy day. The Minneapolis Institute of Art is free everyday. There is over three levels of almost every different kind of art you can think of; painting, sculptures, photographs. Also, the Weisman Art Museum is free and pretty close to the Augsburg campus.

 

3. Talk to your grandparents.

Personally, my grandma is one of my favorite people. I get really busy and caught up in life sometimes, though, and forget I should be spending time with her. A rainy day is a perfect day to get lunch with your grandparents, help them do some cleaning, or just hang out. They generally have an immense amount of life experience to share if you just ask them. If your grandparents don’t live around here, Skype or call them. Either way, they would probably love to hear from you.

 

4. Rent Purple Rain.

Minnesota’s beloved Prince tragically passed away this April. The whole city of Minneapolis was illuminated in purple the following weeks to honor his life. You can honor him, too, by renting the Academy Award winning movie Purple Rain. The movie stars Prince, and is loosely based on his life. I would give the movie 10/10 stars, considering I love Prince and cried when he sang Purple Rain at the end.

 

 

5. Expand your music horizons.

Music is so important! Sometimes I get in a phase where I only listen to Drake, or I only listen to The Beatles, etc, etc. I think it’s important to listen to all types of music, though, not just one type. When I get caught up on one band, I go to the nearest Cheapo records, and go straight to the clearance CD section. They have a ton of CDs that are only 99 cents. I often find CD’s of a band I only know one or a few songs by. After I listen to them I usually end up really enjoying and appreciating them. While you’re there, walk around the rest of the store as well, they have tons of different kinds of music and band memorabilia that is cool to check out.

 

6. Buy new shoes.

I really shouldn’t be suggesting this, considering I shop way too much (just ask my parents). Usually a rainy day starts giving you the feels, though, and what could make you feel better than a new pair of shoes? You could even order them online so you don’t even have to get out of bed. Here’s one of my favorite websites to get you started – Vans.  For the next rainy day, I’m thinking about a pair of maroon Vans.

 

7. Clean your space.

Who wants to spend a sunny day cleaning up their room because they can no longer get to their bed without a snow plow to plow through all the piled up dirty clothes that have been accumulating for weeks? Not me! Of course this exact scenario has never been a problem of mine, but I have seen this issue in Oren Gateway before. From the wise words of Jess Lambert, “Unclutter your space, unclutter your mind.”

 

8. Read a Book.

Go to your nearest Half Priced Books, and get a cheap book to read for fun. I know since I’ve been in college I’ve done tons of reading that professors have assigned, but no recreational reading. Reading a book for fun could be a great way to actually be productive while still laying low on a rainy day. Plus, studies show that people who read are smarter and nicer than people who don’t, and who doesn’t want to be smarter and nicer?

 

 

9. Go Bowling! 

You get to wear ugly shoes and have fun with your friends. Memory Lanes is a bowling alley pretty close to Augsburg, but if you have the option check out Bryant Lake Bowl. You can order anything you want while you bowl, last time I was there I was eating french toast with one hand and bowling with the other. If you’re embarrassed or insecure about your bowling skills, just keep in mind that last time I went bowling I scored a 38.

 

10. Get Sushi.

There is nothing in this world better than sushi. In fact, you should get sushi even if it’s not raining. If you don’t feel like cooking and you’re hungry, though, get sushi. Osaka in Roseville has a sushi “Happy Hour” where most of the sushi rolls are half off. It’s Monday-Thursday, 7:00-9:30pm. Check it out! It’s pretty healthy and tastier than Nabo or the cafeteria.

 

Hopefully one of my suggestions appealed to you. It’s important to stay active on rainy days, because they can start to make you feel down if you stay static for too long. Thanks for reading!

 

-Connie K.

Start off your summer right with some recommendations from our new student worker, Connie!

Now that the weather’s finally getting nice here in the beautiful Midwest, you may be struggling to find things to do outside since you spent the last six months of your life avoiding subzero temperatures and frost bite by staying inside. My best advice to you is to spend as much of the summer as you can taking in the sun’s rays, because they’ll be gone again before you know it! I compiled a list of 10 things you can do if you find yourself sitting inside with nothing to do anytime within the next couple months. 

 

1. Go on a run outside!

It is a great way to be outside, get some exercise, and also get a nice tan! I’ll be honest, I can’t run very far at all without feeling tired. Something I’ve started doing lately, though, is going outside and mixing running and walking. I’ll run for as long as I can, than walk for as long as I need to.  I feel really good after I do it and I know you would as well.

 

2. Try disc golfing.

The best part about disc golfing is it is free. I’ve actually only been once, but I know a lot of people who enjoy it. The only thing you need is the frisbees. There are disc golf courses all over the metro. The closest one I found is Wabun Picnic Area (4655 46th Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55406). If that one doesn’t work for you, if you just google “Disc Golf Courses Near Me”, a bunch of options will come up.

 

 

3. Visit a waterfall.

This is personally one of my favorite things to do. It normally consists of a small hike, a pretty view, and some cool pictures. The closest one is Minnehaha Falls, only a few miles away. If you’re feeling adventurous, though, I would check out Willow River Falls, which is right across the border in Hudson, WI, or Vermillion Falls in Hastings, MN, which is very secluded, but one of my favorite places I’ve visited this summer.  

 

4. Find a concert.

Summer is concert season! Concerts are a great way to enjoy good music and relax. I listen to a lot of hip hop – if you do as well, I would highly recommend going to Soundset. It is a hip hop music festival that runs all day, May 29th. This year it’s featuring Atmosphere, ASAP Rocky, Future, Post Malone, and many more.

5. Go to Lake Calhoun.

You could go on a walk around the trail that runs around the whole lake. You could rent kayaks, paddle boats, paddle boards, or bikes, at “Wheel Fun Rentals” which is right on the lake. There are multiple beaches and a park along the shore. There is also a restaurant called the “Tin Fish,” which is right on the lake, which I’ve been to several times and would definitely recommend.

6. Rent a bike.

You may have seen the bright green bikes placed strategically around the city. There are stations all over Minneapolis where you can rent bikes and return them the same day at any of the stations. This is a great thing you can do alone or with a friend. It’s a great way to get exercise, too, which is a lot more fun and easier than running.

 

7. Watch the sunset at Witch’s Hat Tower.

Witch’s Hat Tower (55 Malcolm Ave SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414) is a water tower in Minneapolis, just a few miles from Augsburg. It has a really beautiful view of the Minneapolis skyline. On a clear night, if you are at Witch’s Hat, the sun will set right over the city. Super good photo opportunity or date idea, so you’re welcome.

 

8. Enjoy the view at the Foshay Tower Observation Deck.

If you’re looking to explore downtown, I would suggest visiting the Foshay Tower. I think it costs $5, but you get to go all the way to the top. You are basically in the heart of downtown, at the top of a skyscraper, with skyscrapers all around you. You can see for miles. The view is amazing, it’s definitely not something you can see everyday, and should probably go at least once this summer.

 

9. Ride the supersized escalator to the endless bridge.

At the Guthrie Theater in downtown, there is a very cool overlook called the Endless Bridge. It is open to the public and has gorgeous views of downtown and the stone arch bridge. Afterwards, you can walk around the stone arch or go to the little park right next door to the Guthrie.

 

 

10. End a night with ice cream.

I recently went to Sebastian Joe’s Ice Cream in Uptown and it was really good. It is open late, and has a pretty big patio for warm nights. There is also some cool art inside I would check out. If you don’t like ice cream, check out Insomnia Cookies in Dinkytown. Warm cookies for cheap – and they deliver.

 

Of course there’s endless amounts of other things you can do this summer, but hopefully this list can help get you started. If you think all these ideas are not your cup of tea, just promise me you will at least go outside and do something you enjoy. Thanks for reading!

 

-Connie K.